okay, so, i've been fed up with my life for the past few months.
today is no exception but New Moon + Rob Pattinson & Taylor Lautner made my day a little brighter.
Kristen Stewart then again depressed me with her flawless skin and beauty. Luckily she is only a mediocre actress.

seriously. a guy like edward cullen.
is it forbidden to dream? hum?
i hope not. because in my dreams i have a guy like that.

in reality it's impossible, of course. dah, vampires don't exist.
and he is too beautiful. way too beautiful. so beautiful that it only makes my depression even deeper.

i feel so emotional and deep once again, so, here we go.

the moon is still beautiful, even on the days i don't feel well. i can't stop looking at it. an eternal beauty. how grateful i'd be if i was the moon.
oh how i have fallen in love with orange street lamps, rain, traffic signs, green and red traffic lights and... the moon, obviously.

the moon and the stars. and the sun. they are nearly eternal. in my case, they are eternal, since i'll die way before they'll die.

okay, let's get even deeper now that i've come this far.

i love fire. i love fire so much. some people think that fire ruins everything and just burns things. well it does burn things. but fire is warm, hot. i can almost feel how i melt whenever i go near our fireplace. but i don't mind. because whenever i feel my face burn... my feelings disappear for a moment. my despair is gone. the only thing i can sense is the redness of my face. and it feels good to be there, at that precise moment. feel that split of a second when all my feelings are completely gone. i become an empty shell that enjoys being burned.

and whenever i light a paper with a match, which i do just for fun sometimes, i wish i was that paper. i wish i was a paper with writing, beautiful old-styled handwriting. i wish i was a paper with a few meaningful words on it. i don't want to be torn. i want them to burn me. and at least for one moment.. i'd love to light up someone's life.

I just took a glance at the older journal entries of mine.
The funny thing is that there are always some " LIFE SUCKS " entries popping up out of a sudden.

<edited>

took the shit outta here. too long. a burden.

yes, the first important thing in order to get a driver's license is now past for me, hah!
well the annoying thing is that this was still a rather easy thing... it was almost like a pop quiz at school - although i had, of course, prepared for this one. a little. xD

but now i'll just have to pass the driving test. i don't know when i'll have it but i'm already very nervous about it... my friend just passed her driving test today - it was her 3rd time though. but it's okay and the good thing is that she finally got the license! and besides it's not like she is a bad driver - just a few little mistakes and she had failed. sucks! now i'm even more afraid of the test.

cough.










but i feel like i like someone - -'
pshdhajkd.

And this time it's a real fever. Well, luckily the fever's only 37.5 degrees but i'm not feeling well at all. i have a terrible headache, my body is aching and i'm coughing all the time...

I just hope this is not swine flu!! Because i heard that one of my best friends may have a swine flu, so, it's not impossible for me to have an infection, too.

AND BESIDES MY CLOTHES THAT I ORDERED FROM YESSTYLE.COM OVER A MONTH AGO ARE STILL IN THE "&#&/""#£@£$£@NG FINNISH CUSTOMS! I should've received the clothes already weeks ago but NO.

God i hate life so much.

i was like WTF when i got online in my dA and saw the huge amount of new notes.
but i knew almost instantly that they were 'copyright violation' notes whatever.
and they were. all of them!

but actually i don't mind. it's only acceptable since i had used copyrighted material in my graphics.
and besides, a few graphics are still left, wohoo! hahahah.

btw i had sooo much fun in my driving lessons today. got to drive on slippery roads! yau, fierce! haha.

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Buhahah. Rain - kick some ass!
I really loved this layout by  


too bad this is for limited time only ;_;


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